"So one day, 7 guys walk into a Sanrio shoppe..."

"Hate" An Original Work Inspired by Captain Pollution

I hate it that I have a midterm tomorrow and I can't study.
I hate it when I'm on the interweb, I have to check your myspace to see if you've updated.
I hate it when I'm sitting down and I'm thinking about one thing and the very next thing I think about is you.
I hate it that I have to think about what the people think who read this Xanga and know who I'm talking about, but that I have to go here and write about it.
I hate it when I want to call you right now, but I tell myself I shouldn't because I'm the last person you'd think would call you.
I hate it that everytime I drive around, I have to play one song over and over again because it reminds me of you.
I hate it that if I see you again, I can't just hug you face to face; it's always a sidehug because it would be awkward if you sidehugged everyone except me.
I hate it that I try to make you mine, but in reality, you're not.
I hate it that we made this stupid bet, but at the same time, I'm kind of happy because we never would have been able to talk.
I hate it that the very first time I met you, and it was your birthday, I didn't really care too much about who you are or what kind of person you are.
I hate it that whenever I see boots now, all I see is you in them.
I hate it that I think I'm no one to you except some guy who is your godbrother's friend and sounded like some jackass that is probably some perverted jerk that you could never talk to.
I hate it that I get no second chance with you and this is practically the only chance I have with you.
I hate it that I can't tell you about this because it'll only make things weird because I'm talking about you for anyone to read about.
I hate it that whenever I get a moment to myself, I only want to fill it with only you.
I hate it that whenever I'm driving to school or work I picture you next to me singing with me to whatever song is playing.
I hate it that I think about all the beautiful things I've seen in my life and want to turn back time so that I can show you all of them.
I hate it that I want to take you to the places that I like to call my own so that we can make them ours.
I hate it that I want to learn a song for you, but just can't find the nerve to drive to the music store and buy the sheet music for it because I think you might think it would be a corny idea to play it for you.
I hate it that I make a big deal to myself that you sit next to me and we cross our legs so that they face each other and when you sit down and want to cross your leg, your foot goes up and accidentally taps my foot.
I hate it that the only times I can be with you is if at least one of my friends or one of your friends is with us.
I hate it that I can't just flat out talk to you about anything without everyone else hearing what I'm talking about.
I hate it that now you don't go online as much anymore and that whenever I get home and go to my computer, I hope that you're on so I can talk to you again.
I hate it that someone's going to figure out who I'm talking about very easily and will make me take it the next time they see me.
I hate it that I'm still typing about what I hate when I know I should be studying right now and trying to absorb 4 weeks worth of readings in one night.
I hate when I hear about other couples and their problems and wish that I had those problems too.
I hate it not knowing what you think of me both in the past and now when I know I can just simply ask you what you think of me, but I am too much of a puss to do so.
I hate it that I have these thoughts and know I'm probably not going to do anything about it including calling you right now after spending around 30 minutes typing this.
I hate it that I've run out of things I hate and want to keep writing about things I hate.
All I can hate now is how I can't tell you that I think I like you...

-Philip Josafat

Ok, I don't know why, but for some reason, I feel the need to, as Rica puts it in her paper for our group project, "reflect". So I'm watching this series, Final Approach. It's a light hearted anime about this girl who literally drops in on this one guys life through his window and claims that the government is making him marry the girl. The girl's name is Shizuka, which means "quiet" in Japanese, and the guy's name is Ryo, which I have no clue what it means in Japanese. Anyway, so Ryo never accepts the idea and basically spends the entire series rejecting her as a bride. Well, I'm not sure if I should reveal the ending, but you probably won't even watch it, so I'll tell you anyway. (If you don't want to know the ending and actually download the series, stop reading from this point on.) At the end, Shizuka's father finds out about her leaving the mansion and that the whole thing about the government is fake. He tells her that she must return home in one week. Well, of course, Shizuka, being the not-quiet person she is, tries her best to convince Ryo to marry her as best as she can. Finally, at the end, on the last night that she has to be with Ryo, they have this "romanchik" ("romantic" in English) dinner and it turns from a happy mood to a sad mood. It gets super intimate with her running into his arms and her crying her eyes out trying to get him to say that he loves her, and she says the line, "Then what am I missing?" And he says, "There's nothing wrong with you. You know that." And then at the very end, she asks one more time for him to say the words, and instead, he says..."Gomen." Thus, in utter disbelief, she runs off out of the apartment, ending the entire series. GOD! What a terrible place to end an entire series. They totally fooled me because it was only the 11th episode and most series go 13 so I was expecting 2 more episodes. Man. Anyway, I just wanted to share that since I am a big wussy man who loves good stories and just had to get that out of my system. As for my real life, Taglog was long today, Sociology was interesting and Japanese was omoshirokatta desu. Alright, Peace.

Maata Ato...

Do you know I cried,
Do you know I tried,
Do you the times I would fight,
Just to try to stay alive inside my mind?
Do you know I died,
Do you know I lied,
Do you know the time
When I hide behind my eyes
And shy away from life and deny all that might
Just to look at a night so dim of light
That no tunnel exists,
Just a tight sprial spinning in circles like a flat tire,
Flying with no clipped wings,
Diving with a parachute with no strings,
Until I open my eyes and see no one to confide.
Do you know the hieght,
Do you know the sight,
Do you know the plight
Where I hide away all my lies, fights, and crimes
Because fighting for nothing is my line
The ripe thought that derives everything that is nothing to you:

The me, the self, the I.

by Philip Josafat